Date registered: January 6, 2016
Jan 01
New York and the Eastern Seaboard of the United States melt-down in a rain storm that is merely a punctuation point on one of the hottest years on record worldwide. Are the rain storms getting worse? Well let me just tell you sunny, “When I was your age, I had to walk barefoot across the living room to switch the channel.” For shame! Life’s a (Sandy) Beach when Global Warmnings shift from apocalypse to baseball rain delays.
Shortly after their Yangtze river turns an unprecedented shade of red, Canadian authorities endorse a $15.1 billion take-over in the Canadian oil sands by a state owned Chinese drilling company. I guess they never red the flood of articles polluting China’s environmental record because they were too busy rationalizing the bad ink surrounding China’s human rights policy (or lack thereof). Move over Manitoba, there’s a new Red River on the Canadian horizon.
Michigan Police found the dead man’s mummified remains sitting upright in the living room. His roommate said she kept his remains clean and dressed and talked to the body often, especially when “they” watched auto racing. She admits cashing his benefit checks since his death in 2010 (or six months ago by her estimate).
With the American sub-prime mortgage melt-down fresh (and Eurogeddon foremost) in everyone’s mind, Canadians manage to roll their household debt up to an average of $1.53 for every dollar they brought in – just below where the U.S. was before its housing crash.
This wood burning(?) energy generation device is voted recreational innovation of the year by Popular Science. Now everyone can go out and play even if they don’t want to get away from IT all.
Jan 01
Jan 01
The global economic picture continues to develop poorly. Kodak files for bankruptcy protection in January. Later in the year Hostess follows suit, prompting fear that it might even be the end of the road (if not the world) for the Twinkie, America’s vaunted post-apocalyptic food staple.
Jan 01
Scientists everywhere become unglued with news that a God Particle “might” have been created in the Large Hadron Collider. The rest of our heads explode with a “Big Bang” as we try to understand why this is such a big deal and/or exactly what it means. In a prepared press release we are enlightened by news that, “It’s important to realize it’s not responsible for most of the mass we are made of, but it’s involved in the mass of fundamental particles.“
Jan 01
In an attempt at pandering to the Chinese for investment designed to balance Canada’s trade deficit, Stephen Harper claims victory after securing the rights to “rent” two giant pandas from the Chinese. In return he opens our kimonoil-sands to Chinese takeover.
Jan 01
Face book goes public, then loses face followed by its shirt.
Jan 01
The open-discharge toilets used by 30 million train passengers every day in India have always generated a big stink, but now scientists are warning that the issue is also flush with “serious safety implications.” The discharge causes widespread corrosion of the rails and maintenance workers often refuse to service the undercarriage of the trains.”
Jan 01
The federal government announced the postponement of their plan to stop circulating pennies last October. The new target is now on Feb. 4, 2013.
Jan 01
The Pope’s butler was sentenced to 18 months of house arrest in the Vatican after being convicted of leaking information pertaining to allegations of corruption and financial misdeeds within the Vatican. No telling how much has changed since the days of the inquisition since all we know from the secretive trial is that the butler confessed and he is now very sorry.
Jan 01
Unfortunately da money still owns Congress. Although all but 1% of da money is still expected to fall over a fickle cliff (that everyone else just calls partisan politics) perhaps now the slope, and fall, will not be so pronounced.