Date registered: January 6, 2016
Jan 01
Scotland releases Locherbie bomber on Compassionate grounds
Blah Blah [his full name is longer than his “intended” prison sentence] Megrahi, who was serving a life sentence for 270 counts of murder in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, was released by Scottish Authorities after being diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer and only 3 months to live. Intelligent Scots everywhere are rolling over in their graves. Hard to believe the progeny of a race known for their intelligence and inventiveness could fail so horribly to connect the dots on this one – i.e. lets release a convicted Bomber who has already killed 270 so he can die a slow painful death (unless of course he decides to end it quickly with a bang). Perhaps “life” in Gaelic means life minus 3 months or maybe, and more likely, the rocket scientists behind this decision were actually the spawn of some inbred British Noble and his favorite lowland Scottish ewe [Update: Now, five months later the (should be) dead man walking, has been released from his Libyan hospital and is living at his family’s villa].
Jan 01
“Something ventured, next to nothing gained”
The Toronto Stock Exchange Composite Index peaked 10 years ago in 2000 at 11,300 points. Today, after its biggest one year gain in the history of the market, the index sits at 11,746 points. If my math is correct (and right now I wouldn’t bank on anything so speculative) that would mean that for every $1000 I had invested against that index in 2000, I would be sitting here today with a whopping return of about $39 (of course that would assume that there was zero inflation between then and now and zero bank and brokerage fees). In retrospect, I should probably have stuffed all my cash into a mattress, purchased a lot more beer and then returned the empties for a bigger windfall. I am not complaining though. Ten years ago, Bill Gates was the richest man in the world with an estimated net worth of $60 billion. Today he is still the richest man in the world but his estimated net worth is only $40 billion – must suck to be Bill (I’m way better off than that loser. Praise the Lord and pass the champagne).
Runner Up: During World War II, Japan was experimenting on Prisoners of War to develop the perfect germ warfare delivery system — insects. With a budget rivaling that of the American Manhattan Project, Japan’s covert Unit 731 killed more people in China (580,000) than were killed in Japan by the two Atomic Bombs over Hiroshima (140,000) and Nagasaki (80,000), combined. Shiro Ishii, the ruthless head of the unit, retired on a full military pension as neither he nor any of his men saw the inside of a war crimes courtroom. Moreover, all but one of the heads of the Japanese National Institute of Health between 1947 and 1983 had served in Unit 731.
Jan 01
Lake Winnipeg, the world’s tenth-biggest lake, isolated, ringed by pristine Boreal forest, tucked far away from industry and major population centres, has become the sickest big lake in Canada. A putrid green mat or “algal bloom”, twice the size of P.E.I. and clearly visible from space, is jaw-dropping evidence of an ecosystem in deep trouble – and the culprit is … [insert maniacal organ solo here] …come on take a guess … it’s the pigs, stupid (they were everywhere in 2009). Manitoba’s so-called “hog boom,” has seen the number of hogs in the Red River Valley watershed swill to 8.2 million. Those not so little piggies are dumping an annual shitload that would equal the excrement from at least 30 million humans. The Red River Valley, contributes 66 per cent of Lake Winnipeg’s phosphorus load. Meanwhile, Alberta, the western limit of the lake’s catchment area, has another eight million head of hogs and cattle. It gets worse – Lake Winnipeg is considered “just the tip of the iceberg.” This condition called “Eutrophication” is the No. 1 water quality issue on the planet (some of you may remember when a toxic bloom in the Yellow Sea at Qingdao nearly halted the sailing events at the previous year’s Beijing Summer Olympics).
Source: Canada’s Sickest Lake, MacLeans magazine August 20, 2009
Jan 01
Ford takes mileage to new lengths. The only American Automaker that did not go into bankruptcy protection during 2009 has wowed the market with their more fuel efficient models but…what they save on the road is spent warming up in the driveway and driving around looking for a place to park because the dopes made their vehicles too long to fit into your average garage.
Jan 01
Canadian PM Stephen Harper
He prorogues parliament, again. One year after dodging what appeared to be the end of days for his party by invoking an obscure never before used Rules of Parliament technicality, PM Harper does it again. Embroiled in a nothing good can come of this request from Parliament (a.k.a. the elected voice of the people) to provide them with information on the Afghan PoW question, Harper asks the Governor General to prorogue (dissolve) Parliament until such time as the Winter Olympics (?!???) end in March 2010.
Jan 01
“Gran Torino” starring Clint Eastwood
This year I park my preference for special effects and let it all ride on a movie with a message that cuts both ways. Gran Torino is a moderately disturbing social commentary that is to an older age what “Falling Down” was to mid-life crisis.
Runner Up: “GI Joe”
Whudda thunk that a guy doll would elicit such a swell of testosterone and special effects. This one might not be as good as I remember it. It could be a matter of perception, like when a big guy walking a toy poodle looks that much bigger.
Jan 01
“Sometime Around Midnight” by Airborne Toxic Event
Honorable Mention:
“Two Is Better Than One” by Boys like Girls (with Taylor Swift);
“I Got a Feeling” by The Black-Eyed Peas
Jan 01
Hot Chocolate
A good old parable with a moral that might explain how our world has dug itself into the mess it is in today even as it offers a way out. In short, it defines stress as everyone’s desire to have more than others have as opposed to what they need. You can read the full text here
Jan 01
Q: What is the difference between Santa Clause & Tiger Woods?
A: Santa stops at 3 ho’s