Date registered: January 6, 2016
Jan 01
A re-enactment of the Battle of the Plains of Abraham is won by the French …without firing a shot. Canadian National Battlefields Commission chairman Andre Juneau says battle re-enactment plans have been scrapped, “because of the impossibility of ensuring the safety of the public and the participants.” Quebec sovereigntists denounced the planned celebrations as an insulting reminder of their ancestors’ defeat 250 years ago. Many threatened to protest the events.
Jan 01
Harkening back to those headier days of Einsteinian Relativity, the Nobel Committee determines that, relative to his predecessor, it follows that the “glass is half full” with U.S. President Obama. After just 3 months in office, he is awarded a Nobel Peace prize not for what he has done but for what he might be able to do.
Jan 01
Fashion Designers in England celebrate the 50th birthday of everyone’s favorite material girl by unveiling(?) a line of Burka Barbie dolls for auction. What can anyone hope to achieve by unveiling a veil. This could be a veiled threat – but to whom?
(Hurting) Headitor’s note: It should be noted that Mattel [the company that owns the Barbie brand] has not announced plans to market this line to the masses (catholic or otherwise). Experts (that would be me and the voices in my head) speculate that this may be their Politically Correct way of ”aveiling” themselves of some free publicity and market tests; or perhaps they were just reluctant to eat into the prophets expected from their official new line of “Totally Tattoo Barbie” dolls that was released in April 2009. Mattel’s promotional material read, “Customize the fashions and apply the fun temporary tattoos on you too“
Jan 01
Nidal Malik Hasan, a U.S. Army major serving as a psychiatrist killed 13 and wounded 32 others at Fort Hood, Texas. An American-born Muslim of Palestinian descent, he once lectured other psychiatrists on Islam, and stated that non-believers would be sent to hell, decapitated, set on fire, and have burning oil poured down their throats. According to The Associated Press, Hasan’s lecture also “justified suicide bombings.” Officials at Walter Reed Medical Center repeatedly expressed concern about Hasan’s behavior during the entire six years he was there. In the spring of 2008 (and on later occasions) several key officials met to discuss what to do about Hasan. According to NPR, fellow students and faculty were strongly troubled by Hasan’s behavior, which they described as “disconnected,” “aloof,” “paranoid,” “belligerent,” and “schizoid.” He was also the subject of at least one FBI investigation prior to the shootings but the FBI terrorism task force had determined him not to be a threat prior to the shooting.
Jan 01
A recent audit found that the guys who are watching your books like a vulture, have lost $3million since 1999 because hundreds of former Revenue employees were mistakenly left on payroll after they quit or were let go. Meanwhile, a little further down the road, the other guys who are guarding our gold reserve at the Royal Canadian Mint lost track of $15.3 million in gold. Fortunately, after spending $1.3million on follow-up audits it turned out the Mint was only guilty of not being able to count – that and an accidental garage sale that saw $3 million in gold sold at well below market value to some US refineries.
Jan 01
Jan 01
Nadya Suleman, an unemployed 33 year old mother of six children that had been living with her children and mother in a small three-bedroom house that was in mortgage default and scheduled to be sold at auction elects to undergo an in vitro fertilization treatment which leads to … octuplets. A beaming mother claims she will get by with the help of family, friends, and her church. She plans to return to school in the fall. Meanwhile her 69 year-old mom who is taking care of the other six children ages two through seven (all of them also conceived through in vitro fertilization) indicated that she is already overwhelmed looking after them. She said she warned her daughter: “I’m going to be gone” [when you get home]. Her 67 year-old father says he is leaving the country to return to his native Iraq as a translator and driver in order to financially support his daughter and her children.
Jan 01
Shortly after George W. Bush was finally shooed out of office, the Iraqi reporter who jumped the gun a little and tried to shoe him out with a penny loafer was convicted of assaulting a visiting head of state and sentenced to 3 years in an Iraqi prison. Like all good Texans, “W” may die with his boots on but it could well be the shoe that he is most remembered for. See ya later alligator. Shoe now. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
In a related story, Two weeks earlier, across the pond in New York City, a technology firm executive, George Anderson was sentenced to fifteen days in jail, 200 hours of community service and a $500 fine when he plead guilty to the misdemeanor charge of driving while intoxicated and leaving the scene of an accident. The previous year, he struck and killed Florence Cioffi with his $100,000 Mercedes SUV. It was apparently the opinion of the court that Cioffi was also guilty of walking while drunk. Sounds to me like the scales of justice might have themselves been guilty of being a little bent out of shape.
Jan 01
Nortel Networks Corp., a company in bankruptcy protection and already under fire for handing out executive bonuses earlier this year, approved a plan this fall to give another round of raises to its top managers. Sources say 72 Nortel executives will have a total of $7.5 million US added on top of their current salaries in 2009. Of those 72 executives, 14 will be getting compensation of $500,000 or more. The biggest earner under the new compensation plan is former treasurer John Doolittle, who took over as head of the company’s corporate group in August after the departure of chief executive Mike Zafirovski. Doolittle’s total compensation has been bumped to $1.68 million this year, an increase of 1.12 million over 2008. Before departing, his predecessor told a House of Commons finance committee looking into the situation that the company’s constrained cash resources and competing creditor claims meant it wasn’t possible to pay severance to laid-off employees. He also said the company decided to trim the value paid out for pension benefits to reflect their pension plan’s current funding levels. He further enraged retired Nortel employees when he made a filing in October with a U.S. bankruptcy court naming himself as a creditor and claiming more than $12 million US from the company, about half of which was for his own pension benefits. That claim is still under review.
Jan 01
After years of fighting in an attempt to nurture a stable democratic regime in Afghanistan the allied forces are shocked to find one of their good guys cheating at the poles. You can lead a horse to water, but perhaps it would have been better to nurture a local horse that can find the water himself as opposed to a westernized breed that knows (and prefers) what we do, as opposed to what we say about democracy.