Date registered: January 6, 2016
Jan 01
We all dodge a bullet when Ma survives part one of what is expected to be a three part operation.
Pa gets a load off his back using a cream and cortisone shots to reduce swollen scar tissue. Unfortunately he cannot afford a tube of cream large enough to reduce his swollen gut.
Thing 1 gets his first grounding when he is punished for not telling the truth about a relatively minor incident at school. He survives one week without Nintendo.
Thing 2 loses his first tooth to the dentist (actually 2 of them) on October 15th 2003. Wakes up at 4:00am and finds a rock collection under his pillow. He calls to mom from his room, “Well blow me down, the tooth fairy gave me candy.” Is it any wonder Ian lost 2 teeth … and might have lost more if we hadn’t gotten to him before he opened the package.
Our house gets a new state of the art energy efficient air conditioner and we are then told not to use it because our province has run out of electricity. Meanwhile, the Americans attempt to blame our air conditioner for the Blackout.
Jan 01
Ma and Pa are going to get out more – even if it’s just for a walk.
Pa is going to stop warning Thing 2 about his temper and start dealing with it. He is also going to spend substantially less time on the Internet.
Ma is going to get reconnected with her inner self (and maybe then she will stop throwing the kids toys).
Thing 1 is going to learn to stop singing Nintendo jingles in class when others are trying to work.
Thing 2 is going to learn to stop losing his temper and throwing things – especially his fists (I have no idea where he gets that).
Everyone is going to have a Happy New Year (and that’s my last warning)!
Jan 01
The carpet in Thing 1’s room will be removed and his floor refinished.
Jan 01
So there you have it. The Chinese calendar had 2003 pegged as the Year of the Goat. But on my calendar 2003 will go down as the year of the “Chicken.” Over the past year we have been told to: beware of flying, beware of weapons of mass destruction, beware of beef, beware of breathing, beware of breathing in Toronto, beware of Toronto, beware of mosquitoes, don’t drink the water, avoid exposure to sunlight, get flu shots, beware of hospitals and beware the rising loonie. Oh, and lets not forget that the Americans think we are chicken, which probably ain’t so bad since chicken and egg stocks over the past year have gone through the ceiling.
Jan 01
As the whimper sun sets on another year, it’s time to pop another cork and drink in the memories of the old year – unless of course you are/were drinking to forget in which case please also forget everything I am about to tell you.
The United Nations declared 2002 the International Year of the Mountain, but you and I both know that it will actually go down in history, at least Canadian history, as the International year of the … (another word that starts with the letters mo). For those of you that have not figured it out yet, I have subtly embedded clues throughout the body of this review. For those of you who don’t read so well and/or after a little too much on the intake are still a little slow on the uptake, I have typed those clues very s-l-o-w-l-y.
Jan 01
In the wake of, a veritable smorgasbord of fraud served up by Martha Stewart and the rest of Corporate America, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission hires ex-CIA chief William Webster to head up a special audit oversight committee designed to police corporate accountants in the interests of “full disclosure.” CIA?!?… Full Disclosure???
News Flash! December 2002: William Webster is forced to resign from his new post when news leaks that among his other job qualifications (a.k.a. aliases), he neglected to fully disclose the fact that he had also served as a U.S. Technologies board member and he headed the auditing committee of that firm. On Thursday December 19, U.S. Technologies Inc.’s Chief Executive Officer was charged with cheating investors out of $13.8 million dollars that they put into the company.
Jan 01
A “secret” survey indicates that two-thirds of Wall Street’s equity managers think that ratification of the Kyoto Protocol will hurt the Canadian economy and dampen U.S. investment in the Canadian Energy sector.
Umm! So we wait until they run out of gas and come crawling back on our terms. Of course, the oil companies could throw us a curve and exercise their options on any patents that may have come into their possession for solar powered cars but then that would imply that they have sunshine – I think not. So all we have to worry about now is whether there is any truth to the rumors that, over time, they have stockpiled and suppressed patents to cars that could run on water. Ooops, I almost forgot, Canada has all the water too.
Jan 01
Dateline Tue, 10 Dec 2002: U.S. troops could find themselves on Canadian territory helping police and firefighters deal with emergencies under a new pact signed by the two countries. The new accord says that soldiers from either country could cross the border, but would then be under the command of the host country. The Canadian Minister of Defense stated “The pact puts Canada in a position to work with the United States on plans to defend North America, plans the United States would otherwise be developing without us.” U.S. forces would only cross the border if Canada requested them, and they would be under Canadian operational command.
(Hurting) Headitor’s note: Could this, one day become the American’s Kyota Jail Free card?
Jan 01
Jan 01
While the rest of the business world reels on the heels of, well … reality, economic disaster, scandals and/or all of the above, the Ontario Liquor Control Board (and I suspect other Liquor Boards across the country) reports record profits. Western fundamentalists are quick to cite this as a sign from god that, despite the teachings of Mohammed against drinking and other excesses, here lies the one true profit.