Date registered: January 6, 2016
Jan 01
An international incident comes to a peaceful conclusion when a Quebec motorist is finally returned to his family after filling up on cheap American Gas. The American Secretary of State admits that it was a simple translation issue caused when their border guards mistook the suspect’s rants on “unending Canadian gas tax” to be threats of “impending Canadian gas attacks.”
Jan 01
Despite sporting what we are told is one of the more robust economies in the world, the rest of the world is either not taking our dollar (or more likely the people who expect us to take “them” seriously), seriously. At 63.6 cents US, our dollar continues to lag behind that of the other G-8 countries. The “smart” money is not predicting much by way of a rebound until our ruling fathers (and mothers) “wise” up and stop spending Canadian dollars on image consultants given to the task of re-inventing their personalities. Only then is it likely that someone will get those same consultants to re-invent our dollar in a light that is more on the serious side – perhaps by calling it something other than “the loonie.”
Jan 01
Quebec motorists are now allowed to turn right on a red light. Depending on how things “turn” out, Quebec might consider further legislation that would encourage them to stop on a red light.
Jan 01
The comedy duo of Jean Cretien and George Bush jr. replace the sitcom “Friends” as the year’s funniest show after the Canadian Prime Minister defends his aide’s slur on the American President’s mental aptitude by “simply” stating, “Hey, he’s my friend” – “more on” this later.
Jan 01
While it’s Senate is recommending the legalization of marijuana, the Canadian Government realizes where the real money lies. Look out drug companies, parliament is finding new way’s of muscling in on your lucrative profits as Canada seems to be spending more on Royal Commissions into healthcare costs than they are spending on Health Care itself.
Flashback: My Story of the Year for 2001, “Drug Profiteers Lose Big in Game of Supply and Demand.” Canadian Minister of Health, Alan Rock, puts welfare of the country ahead of concerns for Drug company patents/profits when he purchases Athrax vaccines from generic companies at substantially less than Bayer would have sold it to us.
Bonus Prediction: “Roy Romanov “smokes” all other candidates en route to an early Senate appointment.”
Jan 01
This champion of the common man (unless he gets in the way of American Oil interests by complaining about how his land, livestock and/or loved ones are being poisoned by wells that are being erected on his property without his consent) travels to New York City (!?) in order to tell the Government of Canada, “YU-GI-OH to hell and take Kyoto with you!”
Jan 01
We take the kids for a 3 day tour of the zoo’s and theme parks in the Eastern Townships of Quebec at time when the price of gasoline is topping out at 72 cents a liter. Trouble is, we spend more money on bottled water (at prices ranging from $1.25 to $2.50 per .981 liter bottle) than we spend on gasoline over the course of the journey.
Jan 01
In a rare display of inter-regional East-West solidarity in Canada, Eastern farmers attempted to “bale” western farmers out of the throws of one of the biggest droughts to hit the area since the Dust Bowl years of the Great Depression. Notably absent from this initiative were the Federal politicians and their agencies who were late to board the gravy train (but not too late for the photo-shoots).
Jan 01
A Gun Registry program that was to have paid for itself after an expected $2 million start-up cost winds up costing $1 billion (and counting). Meanwhile, the Toronto police force is still at a loss as to why no arrests have been made in what amounts to an epidemic of gangland shootings – but at least they know who doesn’t own the guns that were used …or do they?
Jan 01
The CBC, tenaciously attacked, then Minister of Defense, Art Egg-on-his-face (who later became Minister of “Not-a-leg-to-stand-on” … some say in a vain effort to save on the cost of boots) for his failure to identify members of a top secret Canadian anti-terrorist squad from an obscure photograph. Not long thereafter some clowns at the CBC are forced to admit that the widely distributed companion book to “Canada, A People’s History – Part 2” displayed an Australian soldier rather than a Canadian soldier on it’s cover.