Date registered: January 6, 2016
Jan 01
Next year Pa hopes to experience his first Christmas in a decade without the aid of Neo Citron and sundry other cough remedies. He also plans to get a life (if only for one night per week), bore the kids and never deal with Ma’s hospital or doctors without a french translator present.
Ma will learn to relax (or at least admit that Thing 1 and I have learned how and are not about to change any time soon – and certainly not as soon as she would like).
Thing 1 (doesn’t know it yet but) is going to learn to like something that can be played outdoors (or at least without the aid of video imagery of the television, computer and/or Gameboy kind).
Thing 2 (the Time Pirate), is going to learn to sleep before 8:00pm and/or stay asleep (on weekends) until 8:00am. An improvement at either end would suit us just fine. It would also be nice if he learns to say something without requiring so much coaxing or, in the absence of that, if he stops pronouncing something as “sumkin”.
Jan 01
This year we will tear out the walls around our front entrance. Ma say’s it will brighten up the front hall, but in reality we are looking to widen the launch pad (you see, I haven’t experienced childbirth first hand, but I have a feeling that it may be easier to pass a bowling ball through the eye of a needle than it is to dress two boys and get them out the door – especially in winter).
Jan 01
So there you have it, the year 2002 will go down in history as the year of the Mo_____ (Go ahead, fill in the blank – you must have guessed by now … or are you one of them there, “Id 10 Ts” I’ve been hearing so much about over the past year).
I hope all of you managed to have a good time in 2002 or, at bare minimum, saved enough brain cells so as not to be suckered into politics.
Jan 01
So there you have it, the year 2001 will go down in history as the year of mad cows, madmen and medical mysteries. Did I mention that, over Ma’s 7day stint in the hospital, mad cow disease was the only diagnosis that they didn’t make at one time or another?
I hope you and yours have had a good year or, at bare minimum, you saved some brain cells and hid your stem cells.
Jan 01
We made it!!!! We survived Armageddon January 1, 2000 (a.k.a. the Year 2000 bug). We survived Armageddon May 5, 2000 (a.k.a. the day the largest planets in our solar system came into perfect alignment with the Sun and the Earth – an event that was supposed to have caused the Western Ice Shield of Antarctica to break away and cause global flooding and a redefinition of the shorelines of the world). Heck, I even survived without ever laying eyes on the Survivor television series.
Jan 01
The Americans cannot decide which presidential candidate is the loser. Meanwhile, a little further north, Canadians have five losers to choose from.
I vote for the first time…ever. Fact is, I only went to the voting station to get the brochures of the candidates running in my constituency to prove to colleagues at work that I had the most hurting bunch of reprobates in the city to choose from. Any one of those guys could have run under the slogan, “Employ the Unemployable – Vote for Me!” Of course, the vast majority of all candidates from sea to shining sea could probably qualify under that slogan.
Epiphany!! Throughout the annals of history, Hollywood and literature, the “bad” guys have always aspired to rule the world. I cannot remember one instance in movies, literature or the funny papers where a “good” guy ever aspired to rule a world, a kingdom or a country.
The Texas Rangers, a professional baseball team, agree to pay someone a quarter of a billion dollars to “play” baseball for four years.
The top-selling album of the year is by the Beatles. Every old-time musical group or musician with a pulse launches a comeback/reunion tour.
Jan 01
The super city. Do they reduce costs by eliminating tiers of government or are they actually intended to re-introduce taxation without representation. Wasn’t the Romanian President, Nicolai Ceaucesceau shot by his electorate after he forced all Romanians into Urban super cities?
Honorable mention: Harry Potter. The only book that schoolchildren are inclined to read (those that the school systems have not already rendered illiterate with literary gems by Margaret Atwood and/or “A Passage to India”) is branded as evil by many school systems and church groups.
Jan 01
In January headlines read, “HRDC does not have enough information on who is spending what, where?” In May headlines read, “HRDC has too much information on everyone. It should be dismantled.”
Honorable Mention: Brain drain (nuff said).
Jan 01
“Do it like the Discovery Channel” – sorry, I don’t know the actual name of the song or the band that sings it. It might even have even been released in 1999 (Did I mention that the Beatles were the best band in 2000?)
Runner up: Celine Dion’s ultrasound recordings.