Although free to pursue life, liberty and happiness, Americans discover that said freedoms (or what remains of them) does not extend to death. After winning a long court battle for the right to disconnect her breathing tube, the husband of a Florida woman fends off some last ditch attempts to intervene by both the U.S. President and Congress and allows her to die with dignity after 15 years in a “persistent vegetative state.” Still earlier in the year, a Canadian man organizes and attends his own wake, before returning home and quietly ending his life behind closed doors. I am not sure what the outcome of the ensuing police investigation into the potential for criminal charges was.
Category Archive: Wreckollection
Jan 01
My “The Devil Made Me Do It” (or “Why the Devil did God bury all of our Oil under their Country”) award goes to… Christian TV Evangelist Pat Robertson.
During his 700 Club telecast, the founder of the powerful Christian Coalition of America lobby group and one time U.S. presidential candidate, ranted (on the subject of Venezuelan President Chavez), “You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it.” “It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war … and I don’t think any oil shipments will stop.”
Chavez responded by suggesting that his government might ask Washington to extradite Robertson to Venezuela for suggesting U.S. agents kill him. “Calling for the assassination of a head of state is a terrorist act,” said Chavez, who has regularly accused the U.S. government and its allies of plotting to overthrow him. The U.S. State Department said Monday that Venezuela does not appear to have a sound legal basis for extradition.
Jan 01
My “Do as we say, not as we do” award goes to… Sony.
In an attempt to prevent the masses from illegally downloading all their great music, Sony encrypts their music CD’s with spyware that installs itself on the “purchasers’” microcomputers and secretly transmits personal information about their owners back to Sony (while at the same time providing a conduit for other not so honest businessmen to slip through that same back door). Microsoft orders them to “buzz off” and take their noise with them.
Jan 01
Headlines you won’t see in those mainstream Year-end Reviews 2005
(Hurting) Headitor’s note: Its late, its New Years Eve, and I’SATIREd, sauced please accept that some (or all) of my wreckollections of the year gone by might be a bit scotchy. You should double-check my fracts with some more staid and reputable news sources before using any of the stories that I have dismembered from last year in a serious conversation.
Jan 01
“Canada unveils its new Submarine Cloaking Device”
Traveling in high (and dry) style on top of a barge, one of Canada’s previously loved submarines,the HMSC Chicoutimi, arrives in Halifax Harbour on February 1, 2005. It is expected to take a year to unload the sub and another year to repair the fire damage and upgrade the weapons systems (but at least those Danish depth charges won’t find it as long as it continues traveling above sea level).
Jan 01
“Minority Rules”
Canadian Parliament (and the media) makes sure that the majority of their time is spent on minority issues such as same sex marriage.
Jan 01
“Media finds special interest in Canada’s war effort”
The lead story about the new Canada War Museum which is opened on the 60th anniversary of Victory in Europe (VE) day is about the “fruit machine,” a device used during the cold war to determine whether soldiers had homosexual tendencies.
Jan 01
“Liberals skirt disaster”
Liberals hang on by a skirt when Belinda Stronach jumps ship to join the Liberals (or rather avoid joining the Bloc Quebecois).
Jan 01
“Con woman gives Wendy’s the finger”
Wendy’s stock and sales plummet when an American woman allegedly finds a severed human finger in her chilli. When the con is exposed a Wendy’s spokesperson announces the outcome was never in question.
(Hurting) Headitors Note: Forensic specialists agree claiming that, according to their overall findings, “There is as much chance of finding a human finger in their chilli as there is in finding chicken in their chicken fingers.”
Jan 01
“Prince Charles finds himself in the shadow of another queen”
It was nothing like his first fairy tale wedding to Princess Diana, but Prince Charles did manage to mark 2005 with an upbeat marriage to his long-time friend and sweetheart, Lady Camilla Bowles-Parker. Alas, although still a prince, it was Sir Elton John’s same sex marriage to his long-time friend that would get the royal/fairy tale treatment this time around.