Tag Archive: Awards

Jan 01

Movie of the Year 2006

Who Killed the Electric Car

A relatively unadvertised documentary that is “electrifying” and a must see story that will “shock” you (not because you did not already hear enough rumours to relegate the story to, at worst, mass paranoia and, at best, urban myth but) because you have never seen the facts through, any of the fair and balanced media outlets that we have come to rely on for the “reality” that surrounds us.  Who new the cars actually existed, looked like any other car (and not the flimsy solar energy death traps we regularly see in most alternative energy news bites) and were sharing the streets (from 1998 to 2003) with your average gas guzzling variety (until they were repossessed at the end of their leases and summarily crushed by the automakers). This is a must see for everyone, in spite of the fact that I guarantee you will not like what you see.

Runner Up:  Happy Feet – an animated family story with a message that both entertains and touches young and old alike – “dare to be different or nothing will change and bad things happen to those who can’t change.”

Honourable Mention:   Click – a (reverse engineered, special effects version of the “It’s a Wonderful Life” theme) comedy about a man who uses a universal remote control from God to mute, fast forward and otherwise get what he wants from life without paying much attention to the details; also “Snakes on a Plane” for pure mindless entertainment that appeals to all the senses; and “Lucky Number Slevin” an action mystery with enough character twists to keep everyone guessing.

Jan 01

Book of the Year 2006

I haven’t written it yet.

Worst book of the year century millennium EVER!!! Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie

Why did the Ayatollah Khomeini order a hit on its author?  Was it to save the unsuspecting reader from hurting their heads trying to read such crap? Or maybe it was a subliminal act of psycho-terrorism designed to entice people to purchase a book that is pure torture to read.  Whatever the reasons, BEWARE!  Do not go there!!!!!

Jan 01

Song of the Year 2006

Steady as She Goes by The Raconteurs.

Honorable Mention:

 You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt

Keep Holding On” by Avril Lavigne

Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol

Jan 01

Joke of the Year 2006

News agencies.

If it bleeds it leads and the rest is strictly entertainment.  The National Inquirer frets as World News agencies, including the venerable Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, trip all over themselves to include the drunk driving escapades of Mel Gibson and then Paris Hilton in their international news reports.  I realize that I should be thankful and pass this off under the heading of “No news is good news” but…?

Jan 01

Commercial Blooper of the Year 2006

Ford Motor Co.

What’s the message being imparted – subliminal or otherwise – when a quasi bobble-head guy and girl with dumb empty-headed looks are driving some brand of trendy new car (Hey stupid! Buy this and you too can drive like a bobble-head)?

Jan 01

Statistic of the Year 2006

Canada spends $62,588,441 removing 15,000 Lebanese with dual Canadian citizenship from Lebanon.  Months later as many as 7000 return to Lebanon.

Jan 01

Revelation of the Year 2006

Google records your computer’s IP address, tracks all of the internet sites you visit and keeps this information until 2038 (much longer than other web browsers).  Google has also pioneered a mechanism in its free Gmail service whereby they can scan your email, understand its content and provide contextual advertisements based on what you have written.

Honorable Mention:   Scientists claim that the routine use of acetaminophen (e.g. Tylenol) is a leading cause of liver damage.  Kind of makes your head ache, doesn’t it?

Jan 01

My “Most Boobs on an Award Show” (or “What is it about Booze and Nova Scotia”) award goes to… the Juno Awards held in Halifax Nova Scotia.

Although the 2006 Juno Awards master of ceremonies, Pamela Anderson thought the boos were actually a quaint Nova Scotian method of ordering drinks (and/or expressing awe for her perfect set of… airbags), the press swallowed the Music Industry’s line that the rolling catcalls were directed at Pamela Sue’s anti-seal hunt comments from the previous night.   Nova Scotian, insiders who incidentally love their booze and prefer boobs to seal hunters (regardless of what the same sexers say) are aghast that no-one could understand (or admit) that they were actually expressing their contempt for the music that was being served up as being worth mention let alone an award).

Related Story:  In an attempt to sway public opinion to the musician’s side, Sir Paul McCartney took his wife out on the ice for a photo-op that turned sour when she was attacked by a baby seal.  Greenpeace apologists say the cute animal probably mistook her wooden leg for a club.  Later in the year, Heather would say “I don’t need this or you anymore” thus sealing Paul’s fate in divorce court (and answering his musical question, “will you still need me, will your still feed me when I’m 64”).

Jan 01

My Too Stupid to Evolve award goes to… Google (and most any other web browser) users.

Especially stupid are the Google users who have issues with telemarketers and/or how much information their governments have on them. See my Revelation of the Year.

Jan 01

My Money-Maker of the Year award goes to… the Bush Administration

The Bush Administration passes legislation that will allow the U.S. Deficit to surpass its previously designated ceiling by $1.6 trillion.   Their new limit now sits at $9 trillion.  When President Bush took office five years ago, the national debt was at $5.6 trillion; since then, big budget surpluses have collapsed into huge deficits, and the debt has shot up nearly 50 percent.  The U.S. National Debt has continued to increase an average of $1.74 billion per day since September 30, 2005!

On a happier note, for anyone with Halliburton stock, the company’s revenues are estimated at $12.5 billion per year since the war (oops its not officially considered a war so let’s call it the “investment” of Iraq) began and their stock hit an all-time high of $83.97 per share in 2006 (up from $9 per share in 2002 when the Bush administration began planning its invasion (doh! mega dough!) investment of IRAQ.

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