In short, over the course of 2025 there was a distinct sucking sound emanating from south of the 49^th and an overall absence of brightness on all fronts (especially in the circles of fresh hell that surrounded at least one particular world leader) but hey, we survived and the law of averages (or alternate truths) should lead to a brighter future.

…Have a Happy You Year Everyone!

ps. In case you don’t trust our drunken, testyosterone laced, curmudeonly wreck_edcollection of what went down last year (and who could blame you), or if you just prefer a more fair unbalanced news source, here is a second sober opinion from a testyosterone-free member of the fairer sex (because in these dark times, the best and only way to follow the news is by using a light source that can also make you laugh).

And there you have it, our whirled view of your latest trip around the sun. I think, therefore I’m damned, but if you try not to think too much, you should do okay in the year(s) to come. But Ya, to steal a phase from Beyonce, country music’s latest star, “f#!k it” …

…(keep on thinking and) Have a Happy You Year Everyone!

And there you have it, our best cut at making some slick verse from the sow’s year that was 2023.  Now if you will excuse us, we’ll take a couple days to sleep it off in anticipation the billions and billions of WOKE Chinese (and Chinese rabbits) who will be hopping mad and hurrying to harey us with hate over that last turn of phrase.

Have a Happier New Year Everyone!

So there you have it.  Earth is now home to over 8 billion bipedal parasites, but for the first time since Flotscrum records began some 22 years ago, more earthlings are dying than are being born.  We can probably thank Rah! Rah! Ass Putin, an absence of safety inspections on Russian windows, TRGS (Terminal Russian General Syndrome), and the fact that Russian women don’t want to have children with mindless pussies that would blindly swallow so much shit emanating from their _little leaders ass.  Whatever the reason, and again thanks to more and more countries Putin more distance between their economies and Putin’s poison fossil fuels there may yet be hope for this planet.

Have a Happier New Year Everyone!

Wow that was bleak!  In short the best thing that happened in 2021 seems to be our 6-year old hero from Cheyenne, Wyoming (and he was bitten and disfigured by a mad dog).  No wonder all those billionaire dicks are in such a hurry to blast off out of here.  Maybe those rose-colored smart glasses I saw in my crystal heyeball aren’t such a dumb idea. Oh well, odds are that 2022 can’t possibly be unhappier than what I just dismembered about last year, so…

Have a Happier New Year Everyone!

So, there you have it, despite everyone losing their shit and triggering the great Toilette Paper famine of 2020, we still managed to roll through it and look forward to a New Year “flush” with hope.  As for all that other shit (and those shit-for-brains politicos) sadly, there is no masking mankind’s sullied stupidity as it continues to march forward with the mantra, “future be damned… wipe, rinse, flush, repeat.”

That’s all I got. It’s hard to make a silk purse out of a sow’s year. Regardless, although my bottle is just about empty, my glass is still half full so, I think, all in all, things were looking up in 2019. Although it will likely be remembered globally as the year of the protests, that is far better than being remembered as the year of all those revolting old boys and events that have been triggering said protests.

That’s the year as the voices in my head remembered it with plenty of computer cross-references to confirm that even they can’t make this stuff up. Just as the UN predicted when they elected to not dedicate 2018 to anything at all, 2018 seems to have been a pretty (make that) ugly, UNproductive year full of UNfulfilled promises and UNfinished business.  For the sake of closure us‘UNs will call 2018 the International Year of Endless Slow-Motion Train Wrecks.

2017 delivered a craptacular, off-the-wall, all thumbs (none on the upside) approach to leadership, law, and order. Although one of the most lackluster of years in terms of progress of any kind, no one would blame you if you are still feeling a little drained after being swamped by the Dodder’s brand of lackeys.  Me too – here’s hoping things can only get better!

There you have it. 2016 was a year that was dominated by fake news and creepy clowns (and one creepy clown manufactured enough fake news to get himself elected).  Oh well, as America’s greatest philosopher once predicted… “stupid is as stupid does.”  Now its Back to the Future for everyone (how far back, only His Royal Guyness knows for sure).