Category Archive: Wreckollection

Jan 01

My “Food for Thought (that’s hard to stomach)” award goes to… Ethiopia

Every day in Ethiopia, locals in modern farming operations protected by guards wielding AK47s pick, pack and load hundreds of tons of fresh produce that is flown to a handful of oil rich Middle Eastern cities, entirely bypassing Ethiopia, one of the hungriest places on the planet. The trip from vine to store shelf takes less than 24 hours.   Plantations like this one have become common across Africa where richer countries including South Korea and Japan, and rising powers like China and India, have begun leasing vast tracts of land. They are joined by Agribusiness and Western hedge funds that are funneling billions into the new projects in anticipation of continued global food shortages and rising food prices.   They say they’re bringing desperately needed new technologies, seeds and investment to Africa, but opponents call it profiteering and a “land grab” that is forcing poor farmers off their land and benefiting only those  governments that are inking the deals.

Jan 01

My “Genetically Too Stupid to Evolve” award goes to… Dr. Craig Venter

Nice try swine flu, let me show you how it’s really done.  Here’s one scientist who has figured out how to prevent mankind from destroying our planet.  This American biologist and entrepreneur most famous for his role in being one of the first to sequence the human genome, creates an artificial living cell by synthesizing the entire genome of a bacterium and transplanting it into another.  He hailed the new organism as, “the first self replicating species…on the planet whose parent is a computer.”   For more on that story see Terminators 1, 2, 3, etc.  Pigs don’t fly but all the “Skynets” in the galaxy won’t be able to contain airborne bacteria.

Jan 01

My “You Sank My Battleship! Now Let’s Play Risk” award goes to… Korea

In March a South Korean warship was sunk with 46 lives lost.  An international  team of investigators found that the evidence pointed “overwhelmingly to the conclusion that the torpedo was fired by a North Korean submarine.” It added: “There is no other plausible explanation.”   Later in the year, South Korean war games near the North Korean border lead to an artillery exchange and further loss of life.   For Kor-e-an out loud, can you guys just try and get along?

Jan 01

My “Spyderwicki Chronicles” (or “The Geek shall Inherit the World”) award goes to… “Hackers, Hackers, Everywhere”

In January, Google announced that it (and many other Fortune 100 companies) had been hacked.  The source of the attack that spanned about half a year was tracked back to two schools in China. The primary goal of the attack, dubbed project Aurora, was to gain access to and potentially modify source code repositories at high tech, security and defense contractor companies.   In a related story, the Chinese city of Shaoxing was identified as the source of 21.3% of all (12 billion) malicious emails sent throughout the world.

 

Later and elsewhere in the news, a self-replicating computer program (called a worm) designed to attack and sabotage manufacturing facilities, power grids, pipelines and nuclear plants was discovered in Iran.  The worm intercepts legitimate commands that control devices such as valves and pressure gauges and substitutes them with potentially destructive ones.   Dubbed the Stuxnet worm, it has spread to over 100,000 machines in more than 155 countries, though most are in Iran.  Experts claim “…we’ve never seen such an advanced threat that needed so many different skills to come together.” To date no-one has been able to identify the creator of this “cyber-weapon” although given that the target was almost certainly the nuclear reactors in Iran most believe it originated in the US or Israel (although it could just as easily be some evil billionaire with a cat).

 

Rounding out a year that saw the U.S. Coastguard protecting the privacy of British Petroleum’s effort (or lack thereof) to cleanup the mother of all oil spills, government agencies everywhere the world over were tripping over themselves in attempts to gag, smear and/or arrest WikiLeaks founder, Julian Assange for his role in introducing a few barrels of declassified, “he said, she said” news leaks.

Jan 01

Headlines you won’t see in those mainstream Year-end Reviews 2010

(Hurting) Headitor’s note:  Its late, its New Years Eve, and I’SATIREd, sauced please accept that some (or all) of my wreckollections of the year gone by might be a bit scotchy.  You should double-check my fracts with some more staid and reputable news sources before using any of the stories that I have dismembered from last year in a serious conversation.

 

Jan 01

“In the State of Lexus, Bigger is Apparently Not Better”

Now sporting a hammerlock on the title world’s largest automaker, Toyota learns that quality and quantity do not always mix.  Rocked by recalls on their recalls, Toyota’s fortunes spiral out of control as their cars accelerate the same way (out of control).

Jan 01

“Bleeding by the Numbers”

Long the dull, stodgy and most overlooked department in newsrooms,  the Business News finds itself catapulted to the front pages based upon their new mantra,  “If you can work the word trillion into the story, it leads.”

Jan 01

“Come Muppet and See Me Some Time”

Not satisfied with her own following, pop sensation Katy Perry does her breast to cleave a segment of Justin Bieber’s fan base away from him when she shows up for a bit part on Sesame Street.

Jan 01

“The bigger they are the harder they fill”`

At 2,717 feet tall, the 164 story Burj Khalifa tower in Dubai became the tallest skyscraper in the world when it opened in January.  Ten months later, out of 900 apartments in the tower,  825 were still empty.

Jan 01

“Smoking Mad – Mother Nature grounds Europe”

Mother Nature blows her top and grounds – well, everyone in Western Europe.  Iceland’s “E who cannot be pronounced” volcano erupts and shuts West European airports down for two days (at which time the kids slip out the back window to continue their legacies of sloth and abuse at Mom’s expense).

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