Even after they forced Napster to close shop, people still wouldn’t buy their one hit wonder CD’s (no wonder).
Tag Archive: Awards
Jan 01
My “Impaired Reading” award goes to… the City of Ottawa
Despite criticism of the declining levels of literacy in (and outside of) our schools, the city continues to close public libraries on weekends for all but 5 of the 63 hours from 6:00pm Friday to 9am on the following Monday morning.
Jan 01
Conspiracy of the Year – 2001
Not long after (quietly) announcing an agreement to open new production facilities in China and then tabling overly optimistic revenue expectations, several key Nortel managers cash in their stock options at a very profitable and overly inflated premium prior to reporting actual profits. The ensuing sell-off prompts the Toronto Stock Exchange to cancel trading at least once and Nortel ultimately lays off roughly 40,000 employees and cripples the stock portfolios of a lot more Canadians, most of them pensioners or soon to be retired – which is exactly what those Nortel managers are today; although their nest eggs are apt to be a little more intact than ours.
Runner Up: In an attempt to distance himself from the Shawinigate scandal, Prime Minister Jean Cretien eliminates the middle-man by identifying Shawinigan in the return address labels on most Canadian income tax returns.
Jan 01
Movie of the Year – 2001
A Knight’s Tale.
Joust about the best musical since…(Eddie and the Cruisers II). It doesn’t register on the Academy of Motion Pictures scope of likely candidate’s and every girl I mentioned this choice to has looked at me as if I was a moron – need I say more (Note: this particular question is directed at you guys out there)?
Jan 01
Song of the Year – 2001
Only Time by Enya.
This song echoes back to the golden age of the Celts (i.e. the copper age – circa 300BC). I may be showing the bias of my Celtic heritage; but, then again, as I gaze into my mirror at a person that is now more apt to be mistaken for Santa Clause than guys named Achmed or Franco; coupled with what I see and hear in the Music stores of today, I am thinking that older is definitely better.
Jan 01
Best Advice for the Loveworn
Based on mounting (hersay) evidence, that women don’t sweat, swear, snore, fart or burp, a panel of life science experts (and the Office of Homeland Security) recommend that men should cut women a little slack in the bitching department. It’s their esteemed opinion that if, women aren’t aloud to bitch a little every now and then they could explode with all that stuff bottled up inside them.
Jan 01
Conspiracy of the Year – 2000:
The super city. Do they reduce costs by eliminating tiers of government or are they actually intended to re-introduce taxation without representation. Wasn’t the Romanian President, Nicolai Ceaucesceau shot by his electorate after he forced all Romanians into Urban super cities?
Honorable mention: Harry Potter. The only book that schoolchildren are inclined to read (those that the school systems have not already rendered illiterate with literary gems by Margaret Atwood and/or “A Passage to India”) is branded as evil by many school systems and church groups.
Jan 01
My Media/Political/Public Phobia of the year goes to Human Resources Development Canada
In January headlines read, “HRDC does not have enough information on who is spending what, where?” In May headlines read, “HRDC has too much information on everyone. It should be dismantled.”
Honorable Mention: Brain drain (nuff said).